Oh my darling ClementineI once put three small Clementines in my mouth at the same time.
I was doing this at a summer garden party, for the sole purpose of showing off to my then boyfriend's younger brother and cousin to prove I was 'cool'.
While I was Clemmed up, I heard a clipped female voice behind me calling my name.
I spun round - it was ... his Cheltenham Ladies' College mother standing there ready to introduce me to her family.
I froze with embarrassment for a second, and promptly ejected all three Clems out of my mouth into my hand. Before she could even blink in surprise, I tried to redeem the situation by 'splaining.
However, all I could muster was holding out the spittle-covered Clementines towards her in the palm of my trembling hand, saying "Clementines." Hurrr
The teenagers whom I (actually successfully) impressed were rolling on the floor laughing their EMO butts off.
Suffice it to say, I am no longer friends with the ex boyfriend, but his young brother and cousin are still in regular contact.
8 comments:
What kind of humourless git would hold a grudge against you for having clementines in your mouth when his mother addressed you?
I would, Gorilla.
I've met The Mermaid and she is a disgrace !
You are a bit mental but then who am I to judge
The ex BFs mother sounds about as much of a c*** as he is
Any woman who can manage to insert three pieces of citrus fruit into her gob at once is a friend of mine
Did I misspell anything in this post Miss sub ed?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isy8uiNCUWc
Happy Christmas !
Happy new year, Merms.
Loved the humourless git story, I can relate to that one!
Happy new year, Merms.
Loved the humourless git story - I can definitely relate to that one!
EK I am no disgrace! It wasn't me with a Glock in my handbag now was it!
Beast - twas lovely to see thee and no, your post was fine!
Gorilla. Actually he didn't hold a grudge against me. We just lived 200 miles apart so naturally it just ended. He thought the clem incident was amusing, if embarrassing!
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