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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A day of spurious hatred

Two days ago, on my now-obliterated Facebook page, I reposted an extremely well-argued, thoughtful and balanced blog on the vices and virtues of PRISM and NSA-like activities.

I considered it to present both sides of the story pretty well: the need for scrutiny and to monitor what may be illegal activity, against the rights of the individual to privacy.

It got zero comments.

Not true. It got one comment, from me, stating: "I give you gold, people, and you say nothing. I write about toilet habits and I get 101 comments and 200 likes."

Today, I was late for the train, along with ten other people, who would have easily got on the train before the doors closed, except that some mother was letting her small toddlers dandle down the stairs in front of busy commuters, who could not simply push a child out of the way.

As a result we missed the train by a few seconds. I then posted on my facebook a comment that basically indicated it was unfair for 10 workers to be inconvenienced by a mother. I also said I wasn't interested in hearing whining comments from mothers.

I got whining comments from mothers, some of whom had the utter effrontery to make snide comments about Christianity to me. Pot, Kettle.

1) I can say what I like on my facebook

2) You can argue on facebook, but it is like running the special olympics: you can win, but you're still retarded.

I don't force my life choices on people. Maybe when I am a parent I may have to. But there is no excuse for bringing an enormous pram onto a packed commuter train, while frantic commuters run up and down the platform because they cannot get onto that carriage. This happened at Herne Hill.

That is simply taking advantage of the gift of motherhood and shoving it in people's faces as if because someone has become a mother, therefore they are better and more caring than everyone else.

Right now, let it be clear, I do actually love children. They are great. And I am sure I will become an annoying  mother. But right now I have very little sympathy for mothers who can't get over their own selves but have to resort to calling me "arrogant and entitled" for expressing my opinion that it is not fair that one person should have prevented 10 people from getting to work.

And therefore I realised how all single women, or married women who have chosen not to have children must feel. Second-class. Or that their opinions do not count.

Well here's to those who choose not to have children. I may not agree for my self, but I applaud your decision.

For ten reasons:

1) Being a mother does not give you carte-blanc to think you are better than everyone else. You're the same annoying person you were before giving birth, except now you only have one line of conversation and you think you're right about everything to boot.
2) Your child is not an amazing super-talent or "unlike other children". Balderdash. It poops its pants like every other child.
3) Your two month old did not deliberately elucidate two or three-syllable words, when it can't even say "da"  or "ma" yet. You are simply hallucinating from lack of sleep.
4) When you push your pram onto a packed commuter train and then complain because someone said 'Owch', don't complain. You're forcing your life choices on others, not the other way round.
5) If your precious angel cries or gristles during a service, or a play, or a meeting, yes, this does upset everyone else in the room. Take the thing outside. We didn't force you to have a baby, you chose it and it is your job to deal with its crying, not ours.
6) If you don't want it getting in the way of other people, put reins on it. I had reins and I was always kept safe, rarely had a fall and yes, while I didn't enjoy my 'freedom', the rest of humanity appreciated my parent's consideration.
7) "I can't believe people won't allow children at the wedding." Personally, I agree. I like children at weddings. It's fun. But I can see why some people might want a nice, grown up affair with lovely things that matter if they're broken. Again, they didn't force you to populate the earth, respect their decision.
8) Being single or a non-parent doesn't preclude us from having an opinion. What it does stop us doing is affecting people around us in a negative way. Your child's tantrum in the shop is a pain in the posterior and we will give you dirty looks because it is annoying.
9) Just because some women do not want children does not mean they are not as good as you. Stop being a martyr. You chose motherhood. We didn't choose your motherhood.
10) Don't expect us to do a backflip and clap like a cheerleader when you tell us little Tommy has said his first word or smiled or said no. Big fricking whoop. Wait until he's 20 and then does his first smile or say his first word, then we will rejoice with you. Until then, shut it. You're not interesting. You used to be. You used to have conversation that didn't start with "When you're a mother". When you're no longer a moron, come speak with me again.

I am sure you can think of more. I am sure I'd be DELIGHTED to hear all your comments about how awful, how could she say these things, etc etc. I've got an opinion and I am entitled to it. And to air it on my facebook or twitter or anything without a bunch of self-indulgent holier-than-thou mothers getting all supercilious about it. Half of your children will probably end up throwing you in a cheap retirement home anyway and moving to Australia to get away from you.

Think on that.


Electro-Kevin said...

Brilliant. I enjoyed that one.

Giant buggies along with bikes and mobility scooters we need a rethink on what to do on public transport during rush hours.

I used to take an umbrella push chair when on public transport - I would never have expected to have been able to take the pram with me.

When I eventually did have kids my push chair/pram policy became rather problematic though.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Of course, all this is going to change when I have my own children. I expect to have a lot of "I told you so" and "Eat your words, Mermins" rubbed in my ashamed face then!

Electro-Kevin said...

Certainly not from me.