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Friday, June 20, 2008

Cockfosters

London Underground

Cockfosters

Is a station on the Piccadilly Line, taking people into Barnet. Ooh look, how interesting, a map of Cockfosters
It is also a happily-named station, providing me with an august-sounding, euphemistic verbalisation of my frustration.

For I am frustrated. I have no time to do anything I actually like. I like to watch TV, eat, sleep and maybe even tidy up. But no, every second of my day is clamoured after by people, and not even people who are the closest to me. My closest friends and family know how cockfosterly busy I am and are patient and gentle and forgiving. People who don’t know me – or who don’t care – just demand more and more of my time. This makes me want to staple their heads to the front of a train pummelling its way to Cockfosters.

I also have not had any time to catch up with you all, to see how you are, to read your latest blog posts and email you and find out what's been occurring in your lives-outside-of-blogsville. I do hope you are all well and I aim to carve out more time to splash on your blogs.

I’ve also not had time to write up some rather amusing happenings in the life of Mermaid. Stories I would like to write:

• The chipmunk wot ate out of my hand
• The day my heel got stuck in a train station grating
• The man who just doesn’t get it
• Wings
• Two toads, two frogs, three spiders, one pigeon, one mouse and a small cat
• Mutley still needs to send me an invoice.

I can’t be motivated enough to write them all, so please choose your favourite one and I will write that first.

Except for the last one, that’s a lazy reminder to him that I owe him £ for services rendered.

Willesden Green!

34 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Welcome back to blogland, Mermaid. I sent you an e-mail myself, so concerned was I about your disappearance. "The man who just doesn't get it" sounds good. He want to marry you, doesn't he? I expect he hopes you'll mis-hear the question and say "yes" by mistake. It can happen.

fleetofworlds said...

I would like to hear about the animals, especially the toads and frogs.

I will forbear to enquire what services resulted in the need for Mr Mutley to submit an invoice!

Anonymous said...

I think I am fortunate and privileged enough to know about most of these! having been present at the shoe getting stuck in the grate and having photographic evidence which I would happily share, I would suggest to blog readers that this is by far the funniest and most interesting of the stories! I would guess that frogs mice etc relates to the
from the Blinkiemontifer and I have similar cat related present stories as I would imagine to other readers. The man who doesn't get it is also something that readers could relate to, so, for the lighthearted among you I really would opt for the shoe story!

Grump said...

Despite what anonymous said I'll go with the man who just didn't get it too.
Good to see you back on line.
Cheers Mark x

Daisy said...

anything you write would be a pleasure to read...so i will just sit in wait my dearest finned friend...

Destiny Angel said...

Hey Mermie,

Hainault sunshine when you're gone. What the Tooting Bec has been happening to make you so Charing Cross? I suggest that you take these Pimlicers and kick them up the Oval Mudchute.

Now then. Being an angel I simply have to choose Wings. They're my favourite band after David and the Psalmsters.

electro-kevin said...

No need to rush around visiting us.

We'll come to you instead, eh ?

john.g. said...

The animals sounds good, but I really am intrigued as to why you owe a DOG money for services rendered! Is this legal?

electro-kevin said...

Bet Monty can't do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di94IUUf9bM

EmmaK said...

where is willesden green? I lived in London all my life and never found out. One of life's great mysteries.

I do of course, know how to cock Fosters!

Trubes said...

Hi Merms: I would like you to write about the frog, pigeon, toad etc.
Sorry you're so bored and busy. At present I'm bored but not very busy. It is blowing a gale here and it's freezing.
Since we've been back from Antibes the weather has been dire and we've had to spend loads of money on eight family members birthdays. Humbug!
Write something funny pleeeeees, to cheer ol' Trubiedoo up. I can't get round to 'posting on my site, totally lacking inspiration. I need sunshine and I need it now !!!!

Chloe says purrr purrrr to Monty.

Di.xxxx

Anonymous said...

Barkis is willing.

Lilith said...

I think you have already written about the man who just doesn't get it, although perhaps there is more than one of them in your life. Not too hard to find, after all....

As Kev says, we'll visit you instead :-)

Anonymous said...

lilith.

Barkis is willing.

Scroblene said...

Yes, this motivation thing is a bit of a sod isn't it!

Mrs S and I will sit for hours chewing the fat about this and that, and usually, there's some subject that jumps out as a blogging subject.

Trouble is, talking while sitting outside for the first evening of the year, had to be accompanied by generous quantities for medicinal purposes, and I've completely forgotten what I was going to write...


But, seeing your map of the underground has given me an idea...

ianblair sir said...

May I suggest that if you go cockfostering today, that you don't go dressed as a Brazilian in a hurry, however tempting that may be.

a friend.

King of Scurf said...

"The man who just doesn’t get it" seems to have the most potential for some salacious tittle-tattle.

The Man Who Just Doesn't Get It said...

I just don't get it.

Tuscan Tony said...

Great ad for lager, with Paul Hogan:

Japanese tourist: "How you get to Cockfosters?"

Hogan: "serve it warm, mate..."

Anonymous said...

Is anybody there?

Is anybody there?

There’s an echo in here.

There’s an echo in here. Spooky.

Fuck.

Destiny Angel said...

Kabbalah Scrabbalah, who says the Big Number One doesn't have a sense of humour? St Paul's is an anagram of Sap Lust.

http://www.hometown.aol.co.uk/stationanagrams/

Paddy Ebeneezer said...

what is the difference between a duck?

mutleythedog said...

I am waiting to hear from you... as you know I have simply forgotten about the invoice...are you sure about that? I normally do it for free you know so doing an invoice is a big surprise...

Trubes said...

Hi Mermie: How ya doing ? Are you still very busy? Missing your yarns....methinks it's time for another...pleeeese.xx
I've posted a soppy tale on my site hope you'll visit soon.

Di. xxx

mutleythedog said...

I am missing you too!

OOooOOoooooowwwwwwOOOOOoooooO ooooooWWW!

WWWWOOOOoooooooooFFFFFFF oooooooooo OOOOOO

!!!

That normally does the trick.

mrjingles said...

we've been stuck at cockfosters a long time ain't we?

unclejoe said...

I'm asking for a refund.

rake said...

SPLASH YOUR OWN FISHY TALES HERE, it said.

No splash here.

Fat Controller said...

MORNINGTON CRESCENT!!!

mutleythedog said...

OK.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Mornington Crescent!

Wrinkled Weasel said...

The Fat Controller huffed on a diagonal, so he loses.

DirtCrashr said...

Took the tube out to Cockfosters and a bus from there to Winchmore Hill when I missed gettign off at Palmers Green... back when my great aunt lived out there off the North Circular.

Fat Controller said...

I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those pesky kids.