A bargain bucket of joy
For several weeks I have been craving a bargain bucket. To the uninitiated this is a cardboard tub of crispy KFC bits in that finger-lickin good crispy coating. A rotunda of joy. A barrel of golden spicy-scented edible fine-tasting beastliness that you just shouldn’t and yet… yet it is so so good. Oh it is goooooooooood.
But I have not had any for a long time. I have not even thought about it since at least April, when I began going in earnest to the gym and eating healthily. I have passed by the Colonel’s smiling face on the local KFC “restaurant” without so much as a glance. But recently I have craved that meat like I have rarely craved anything. I would give up all my staplers for one mouth-watering box of chicken-lite delight.
I started seeing his face in my dreams, in trees, even NASA images picked up a KFC satellite image of the Colonel on the moon
But I overcame. I did not give in. I picked up some goujons from Sainsburys’ instead as I did not want to start down the fast food route again. And I was glad I did, for in searching for a picture of a bargain bucket - this was when I was still in the middle of deciding to get a tub - I came across some horrific images. It cannot be said that I believe all of these allegations - after all, what is online is largely unpoliced and therefore the laws of libel and slander are much harder to uphold when dealing with cyber-space. That hot chick whose only train of thought seems to centre around sex may turn out to be a balding, scab-encrusted mass murdering man serving time in a state penitentiary. The man who seems to be a wonderful, charming brainiac turns out to be Neo-Nazi who wears tight pink lederhosen and rubber ducks on his strong and Aryan nipples. Things are never what they seem, that’s all I’m saying.
So with that caveat, I bring you the KFC hall of shame, courtesy of Peta, the animal rights campaigners…
A typical KFC chicken coop
Open letter to the chairman of KFC From Peta Director Ingrid Newkirk, states:
'Each bird whom KFC puts into a box or bucket had a miserable life and a frightening death. People would be shocked to see our footage of a KFC supplier's employee who walks through a barn, lighting lamps and letting flames fall on the terrified birds. The air inside these filthy barns reeks of ammonia fumes."
Another indictment on we over-indulged westerners who cant be bothered to stick a carrot in a kettle and boil it up for a healthy, low-fat treat.
So if that has not put me off having any KFC ever again in my whole entire life, then the threat of the chicken wing… the flabby chicken wing that awaits all the unwary fast food eaters in the world should have put the final nail in the coffin of the Colonel’s spicy chicken box of delights… too much KFC and you will look like this:
UK teenager on a diet