THE BOY read my blog today. I had been badgering him to have a look, knowing what was on there. But had not reckoned on him only reading the miserable laments of a hormonal nearly-30-something.
Which, it has to be said, pretty much sums up the entire site. Too bad I had not been able to post up what we did for his birthday, or nicer stuff. I don't think he is speaking to me any more.
I asked him via email - did you read the nice bits? No, he said. I only saw the one where you said I didn't love you enough and the post by your dad telling you to dump me.
THE BOY has not emailed me back, despite several protestations. He's going away for the weekend, though, so he won't see this until monday. If he ever reads my blog again. And if I never post anything again, will someone please call the Battersea Cats Home and see if I've been left there?
So there will have to be some rectification. Or Rectumification. I'd prefer the former. So:
1) He bought me some toblerone to make up for the one I mashed into my face the other week when I was bladdered. A nice big one, from the airport after he'd been on holiday. there is still a lot left.
2) He likes my cooking and never needs to be forced to eat it.
3) He took loads of pictures of kittens on his holiday with his brother. At one point his bro apparently said: "Wait a mo, you're not taking pics of me are you? You're taking pictures of cats for Mermaid." That's a real man!
4) He loved the b'day pressies I bought him. He wasn't pretending. (A nice special effects pedal and a signed Liverpool football shirt, signed by none other than Stevie Gerrard.
But after reading my blog, the brownie points accrued through the shirt purchase may not be enough to salvage the tattered remains of our relationship. Why are men so complicated? When you annoy a woman, buy her some pretties, get into her pants - I mean, good books again. Annoy a man - there is no solution. THE BOY has taken his bugle and buggered off into the realm of MALE CAVES. And there he will stay, taking pictures of Kittens, printing them off, and impaling them on spikes or boring their eyes through with a rotary pencil.
On the positive side, however, here is a nice picture of a kitten.