The delights of the rural states and their tabloid headlines. How they must be stuck for real news. At first glance, this seems like a pretty mean man. Punching a dog? Then people read the rest, and start to feel some sympathy - I mean, no-one wants some mutt peeing on their herbacious borders and digging up granny.
My question is - how the heck did he PUNCH the dog? Put aside any squeamishness about cruelty to animals. As half-mermaid, I deplore cruelty to anything living. But if you want to hurt a dog, surely you would KICK it? Man = upright, two legs. Bit frustrated, some hound is hovering around the garden, sure, give it a good old nudge along with you boot. I can see that.
Or a small, brown-mouthed scottie is slavering all over your carpet while attempting to hump your leg. Again, a not-too gentle push with your foot (preferably in a shoe, or slipper, or football boot, or hiking boot with crampon-style studs), yes. This is normal.
It is NOT normal to PUNCH a dog. Either the man is incredibly short, or the dog is incredibly tall. Obviously the man was incredibly stupid. Did he get down on all fours to square up to it?
"Hey, mutt-face, get offa my lawn".
"talking to me?"
"I want you to get your dopey tongue and stinky breath outa here or I'll.."
"What, what gringo, you do what? Piss on my post? I laugh in your face. I shit on your flowerbed. See? What you gonna do about that gringo?"
"Why you little - I oughta... get away from the tree now, I mean it... "
"Make me, white boy"
"Right, I'm calling you out."
"No, YOU bite ME, you're the Dog?"
"Who you callin' dog, beaaatch?"
"That's it" - WHAM -
Joe slung him a right hook to the stomach, followed by an upper cut with his left to the chin. Battle ensued.
SUDDENLY....a sound of sirens rent the air....
"It's the fuzz..."
"Dirty pig-dogs... I live to crap on your lawn another day, gringo"