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Friday, April 20, 2007

Ten Sounds to make you want to…

.. run a warm bath and lock the door behind you after writing a note to your mom, of course…

On someone's iPod played loudly…

Ten sounds to make you want to die:

The first one sounded like a woman being slowly roasted on a spit.

The second, like a small Arabian boy was being beaten with camel whips, with lash sound effects

The third, like stoned aliens were slowly landing (man) but being picked off, one by one, by a vet sniper with tranquilisers

Fourth - sounds like Beethoven has turned to the dark side

Fifth – Sounds Of The End, by A Nuclear Fallout (little known group from Chernobyl)

Sixth – an appalling silence, interspersed with a tinkling bell-effect and taxi sounds.

Seventh – oh gosh no, not more, oh help, there's more – Oh goody, it's TECHNO music, blurting out from a 40+ something's iPod. The joys

Eighth – A classical/Jazz remix of Toxic, one of the rare occasions where you long for Girls Aloud

Ninth – the iPod went silent - only for the silence to be replaced – by drilling from the builders downstairs. This has been going on for 18 months. WHEN WILL THEY REACH THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH?

Tenth – "Has anyone got an iPod lead? I need to re-charge my iPod". "No, nobody at all has one. Sorry" – rest of the room.

2 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

"The third, like stoned aliens were slowly landing (man) but being picked off, one by one, by a vet sniper with tranquilisers"

I've heard that many times, the whoosh of dart in flesh, the confused bleating. Music to my ears.

Mark2 said...

Bleating? do gorillas bleat? I thought they went groawlrarrrroohoohoohhohhh