red lolly, yellow lolly
I promised y'all this gem - I am sure the parents among you will enjoy this.
When visiting my dear friend in Scarborough last October, we happened upon a delightful (!) establishment called Yates's Wine Bar. It being raining, only 2pm and me needing to kill an hour before heading home to London-Town, we were stuck for a warm and dry environment to while away an hour. So don't judge me.
Anyway, after a blackcurrant and soda (favourite former tipple of us when we were impoverished students) or two, I needed to visit the ladies' powder room.
As some of you may know, whenever I have an occasion to visit a public convenience, something untoward usually happens. Or rather, I do something to embarass my friends. This time, however, I was behaving myself impeccably. While washing my hands, a young Northern mother came in and was patiently trying to get her three children of various ages to go to the toilet, flush, wash their hands etc. She had sucessfully managed to get two of them cleaned up but the youngest, a girl of about six, was not so amenable.
"I want an ice lolly!"
"You cant have an ice-lolly right now darling" said her mother.
"yes I can! You can get them from the machine", she said, pointing to the wall behind us.
Her mother and I smiled at each other, as we mentally envisaged her pointing erroneously to the condom/aspirin/toothpaste machine. Our smiles turned to horror, however, as we actually looked at the machine.
It was not for condoms, aspirin or toothpaste.
It was for £3 handbag-sized dildos. And the little girl was vigorously pointing at a picture of a saucy woman licking a great big red "Ice lolly".